When we think about violence against women, we imagine a slap, a punch, or repeated physical abuse. Violence, however, can be much more subtle. It can be in the form of an offensive word, a coercive act or a culture of sexual harassment. Recent media reports have drawn attention to the complex relationship between youth culture, gender norms and consensual behaviour. As a young man, these complexities invite us to rethink the subtleties of violence against women.